2 days

Two days until I fly away to visit old friends. I am excited, despite not being thin like last time I saw some of them. I know there will be a shitload of drinking - and probably dinners and lunches with friends.... shit. I could do the whole purge thing - but staying in a hotel with s could prove to be difficult... argh- I hope I can stay strong, but I am sucking at it lately. Sometimes I eat lots, sometimes not much... still I am eating and I dont like this.. I am around 54kg still I lose one week gain by the weekend. Blergh. Sounds bad but one friend I am seeing has the same problem she is thinner than me - I wanted to be thin too by the time I go back - not happening. Dev. Oh well. I will update how the trip goes - probably be a balloon when I get back! 


But I am doing a soup diet with s and he is keen for it too... a detox... so I will only have fruit and soup for I hope 5  days.... hopefully that will allow me to lose a little.. a shit stack of homework to do. 


I hope all is well ladies, stay pretty. 


xo Pix. 

Weekend, gah, where to start ate a fuckload of thai/asian food friday then drank and purged. Satt I wasso hungover I had pasta and pizza. Today theres no excuse. Bacon and eggs, pizza and pasta. What the eff pixie you stupid thing. Mother also thinks I have a drinking problem... Perhaps. I feel more confident when I drink, as if people would like me more. Im not weighing in. tomorrows back to uni I will be awfully busy so I'm hoping I can atleast get rid of the weekends catastrophe, gahh. Fat bitch pixie, over and out. X

Sneaky

Sneaky phone update I'm at s's in bed while ge plays video games todays activities went well new hair colour purchased yet to put in. foodwise.. 2 pce sushi, half a greek salad a bite of garlic bread and diet coke. I hope to see results. Going to bed hungry and loving it! Night girls, I promise to catchup on blogs and reply when home xx pix

Tatt Thinspo Thursday

The weekend is approaching and I am excited. I am going out for a double date tonight - which means dinner- not so excited however I am getting good at choosing healthy options and not eating the lot. Friday it is sangria with a girlfriend and sat a birthday dinner not keen on - will drive not drink nor eat and bail early. 


I weighed in at 53.9kg yesterday, I am still a fair way away but every gram counts right. While 48 still is an ideal I think that I would be more than happy with 50kg! so im about 4 kg away.... 


I have been doing lots of push-ups, sit-ups squats etc and can see a change in my stomach already - the ribs once again are almost visible. 


My scales are being a bitch to me -so I am not weighing in until I am sure I have lost a significant amount. 
I have been eating less too:
Yesterday I ate a squid salad. a bite of chicken and roast veggies.  (no sweets wooo)


Today I have had a coffee so far. S and I are going to the shops soon - I need new hair colour cant decide -red, purple, brown, black argh suggestions haha - hard to tell when you don't know what I look like. We will probably by his request get "a bite to eat" - salad thanks or cold rolls. Dinner - Salad please. 




Fingers crossed - god being social can have its downfalls!


I have fallen in love with Tatt thinspo - funnily enough when browsing pictures I found a pic of a girl I know - wouldn't that be ideal - someone taking your myspace/facebook/blog photos and using them as a thinspo!


Enjoy!

xox - Pixie.

A constant battle

I battle everyday with my desires to be thin. Laziness has overcome me! I hate myself at the moment. I eat. I never used to eat. I have gained like a horse with the munchies. I am a fat piece of shit. I just want to be thin. I am going away in 12 days. I want to be thin when I see my friends. 


But all I do is eat. proper meals. its disgusting. some say its normal I say its grotesque. I don't know how I got to this. 


I am fat fat fat. 
6kg needs to go asap. 


Today I have had coffee, diet coke and a wrap with ham and cheese - 400 calories already no doubt. 
400 to many. 


It is odd how easy it has become to hate myself. or is it?
I SHOULD HATE MYSELF. 


ATM I am a huge 54.7 kg!


I have never never never never been this much. 


fuck. I need to be at least 50 kg in 2 weeks! My jeans need to be loose on me! I got to 53kg a week ago but then I ate. Carbs, pasta, and I have been drinking everyday!


I will try to stop eating... I am going to take lax's now. gross but I need a system cleanse!


I hope to update a more happy story my next visit. 

two weeks please!

- Pix.