Fatbish

Im disgusted as soon as skinny girl left the party I ate. Toast, cheese, pasta...then next day pizxa, pasta, asian, cheesecake, chocolate. I had sugar fuck. I went to the docs for these gut pains and passed out...idiot.all in all ive only gained 700gramd.... Still im above 53 eeeww. I need laxies to get this shit out...literally. Tomorrow no sugar startss... Im sure my binge has had its way...back to restricting! Im seeing skinny girl in gwo days maybe if not we are starting yoga in 20 days... I will be 50¡ 51 will do just please pixie break below 53 then 52..... Fatty out xx

Its rainy and cold. I could kill for a hot chocolate! But ive not had sugar for 3weeks. I'm proud of this. I had dinner at my grans and ate soooo much spaghetti. I felt rude if I didn't but fat because I did. I purged majority up though... I just pray I'm looking thin for this party on saturday ~ skinny girls going to be there. I want to be thinner than the last time I saw her...pretty sure I am. My face is getting thinner I think, thank god because the thought of an extra chin makes me ill. I haven't weighed for,two days. I.might tomorrow but if I see a shit result or none at all it will no doubt put a downer on my weekend. Speaking of what's everyone doing for it? Xxxx pix

Fuckyoufood

Me and food are having a bad relationship. Not that I'm eating stacks, soup fruit or a light meal. I just can't bare to think about foods entering my body these past few days. Im purging my dinner each night.even vegetables. I can't stand anything in my stomach so I purge til I'm hungry again. I guess this is fine if I see results right ¿.

52.6

I was stoked to see this on the scale after this weekends antics, blergh alcohol. Today I have pigged out though... Cereal a few nachos, cold rolls and chicken broth.fuck I'm going to be back to fat. Gah I hope to be 51 by the weekend as I have another party and I must be thin! It was kinda good coz I couldnt eat with it, now appetites back fucker. Soup, soup and more soup is the plan for the week ahead. In other news I had a fab weekend the boy came back from his trip so we did dinner and movie fri and a, party sat... But reality beckons amd tomorrow its back to prac... Really ceebs going but I musnt be lazy plus I barely eat there! Im worried though I will need petrol...i have no money which I was so kindly made aware of when my card declined eeeeep. Best go to bed, hopefully have skinny dreams. Xxx pix

53.3 there I said it. Yes I once was 47.7 but then I relapsed got fat. Huge. 56 ar one stage, two wks ago. It kills to confess.but recovery is not for me, I get this now. I thought I could...it made me more depressed than ever. On the plus I have nearly lost 3kg in two weeks im sure ill be 53 tomorrow. I have had a 36 hr gut ache thus minimal eating.i think 350 cals today perhaps l less. Anywho this posting on my phone thing sucks I can't see what I'm typing excuse any mistakds. gah. Soooo all in all 3more kg needs to go ...two weeks timeframe? Sounds good to me. Zoxoxo pixie

Gahh. Since I started dieting again in the past 5ish days ive lost 2kg. Although when I weighed myself to begin I think it was a lot of water/beer weight. I'm actually disappointed that I havent lost more.i was reading an old diary that I tracked my weight each day and I would lose a stack easily... Hopwfully I see more loss tomorrow... Todays cals are around 350. Im humgry now which makes me hopeful I will see results. I want atleast 3kg gone in 2 weeks! Xoxoxo pix

On the brighter side..

I am back from my trip away, whilst it was great seeing old friends I weighed in after landing home sun night and it was no surprise I would see gain - gain - gain. 




So I have been restricting like I haven't in a while. 
Yesterday I had soup and cereal - 356 calories
Today Soup and cereal and soon more soup for dinner so it will be around 400 for today. 


I weighed in today and I have lost 1.3kg in a day! 


I am hoping that I lose more by tomorrow... I dare not report how much I weigh currently as I am appalled - but I will once I am happy with the success that WILL COME! 


I am seeing the skinny girl no doubt in about three weeks - at least I think she will be there at a friends party... I must be thin by then, I cant let her see me like this. 


I also need to fit into a dress by July that I want to wear for my party. I need to lose about 5kg by then.... I think this is doable... small steps. 

I tried to stop smoking, I didnt at all yesterday but restricting calories and all sometimes makes me on edge so I allowed myself a few today - also university is stressing me the fuck out - I can feel myself spiraling down into one of my depressions. I hope some more weight-loss will make me happy. It has to right?


Not a lot else has been happening, just a lot of going out, drinking and eating. But I plan for this to stop... No drinking until next weekend for a bday party then the one after that... Alcohol and anti-depressants are not a good mix for me I get depressed for days after the hangover flees.And in regards to eating I plan to do this soup/ cereal thing until Saturday. From then I am working out a plan that involved healthy eating, incorporating plenty of veggies and LESS carbs. 

( with winter fast approaching I want these legs on me! ) 


This is really just rambling I am going to read some blogs and do some homework. blergh.




xoxo Pixie.