Well yep. I tried to avoid coming on here because what I have to share is not good news. I feel pretty down on myself and think I want to cry.. I'm not sure but I know if I did the thing is with these new anti-depressants I have not been able to physically cry in months weird!!
Went to S's new apartment, binged like a fatbitch. S complained I wasn't eating and wanted me to promise I wouldn't become one of "those girls" that we used to pity who couldn't go out and enjoy a full meal... How the tables have turned now I pity those who can eat in gluttony.. filling their faces.
Saturday-I went to work I had a diet coke and a salad - 120 cals or something I cant remember (my memory is going to shit ) then where to start hmmm well we went to Mongolian had such a fatty meal felt like shit but ate a shitload of chocolate still!!.. weakness strikes back.
Sunday - Oats and coffee (140 cal)
Chocolate
Pasta pasta pasta (500 cals worth at least!)
Crisps (a lot)
diet soda and Kahlua
Monday - Coffee and cookies
Sushi and a tad cheesecake (bites of s's) - purged it all though
Salad and Veg Patty
Custard/apple bread twist thingy - about quarter of the darn thing - purged a little but I found I didn't want to make to much noise this house echos and I am a shit purger ha!
So I feel like a fat lard.... I have gained to say the least!!!
Grabbed some lax's though might give them a go sometime soon...
I am seriously considering going to the gym again tomorrow before classes but I am so scared about gaining muscle :/ what do you guys think?
I feel pretty shit at the moment.. I was happier eating food when I wasn't one of "those" girls but now I am angry and sad when I do.
Really needed some inspiration - and who better than Mila!
Tomorrow it's fast time !!
- xo pretty things .. pix.
I love Mila, she's so lovely. Feel better about yourself darling!
ReplyDeleteShe is truly amazing and besides great looks seems to be a lovely person to! Thanks lovely for your kind words. . I think I was struck with one of those down days! Truly love your blog it keeps me feeling positive when I read it - very inspirational - keep it up lovely xox Pix.
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